Most successful career women who have attained a level of success are erroneously blaming the men in their lives with little or lower level of success for their failed relationships.
Divorces are on the rise and a large number of them are resulting from this one misinterpreted word-independence. Women are taking this word too far from the usual. Independence is defined as freedom from control or influence of another or others, the state of being in a position to take charge of your life right from your finances to your social life not the power to intimidate others.
Well, this word has ruined many homes especially when a woman earns enough or more than the spouse. Let’s hit it, women can show “madharau ndogo ndogo” with a slight rise of their finances especially when the man in their life earns slightly….underline slightly less than them.
This does not apply to all successful women out there. There are women who earn more than their spouses but are still respectful in the relationship. I have nothing against a woman’s success.
I am proud of women who have beaten the long term myth that associated them with the lesser or less engaging and less profitable roles in life. Both genders are entitled to equal opportunities in life.
I would dare to say that the women who believe that their success causes men to run and hide are either seeking out the type of men who feel as if the man has to be 100% in charge of every facet of the relationship or these women are in denial of the fact that they have one or more flaws in their personality which is repelling men.
I do not know of a single case in the real world where a man was run off because the woman he was dating or married too was too successful. Funny how no such drama arises in cases where a very learned or very successful man is dating or married to a not so learned/successful woman .
Prove me wrong, in every five homes in Kenya, three have successful career/business men with ‘0’ level partners and there’s no problem with that. But it is a fact that most of these homes are often more peaceful than those having an opposite arrangement or with two partners competing over success and money.
We all want to be successful, independent and all that but respect for each other should apply at all times. Let’s look at it critically, men don’t like no matter what level of success a woman may think what she has is as follows; women who think that their degree(s) mean anything within the relationship.
If you think that your Bachelor’s or graduate degree gives you more power within the relationship you need to think again. If you have a Bachelor’s degree and your mate has a PhD, I am certain that you would not be delighted for them to continuously use their level of education as a tool to make them feel as if they have the upper hand in your relationship.
Second, women who think that because they make more money in the relationship/ marriage (or the fact that she has a certain job title) means that they are superior to their mate are a no go zone for men.
If you are dating someone who you feel is on a lower level than you are, you must ask yourself why you are dealing with this person in the first place and why you settled for them. It’s obvious that you are benefiting from the relationship somehow or you see some potential to benefit from the relationship, otherwise you have no better reason as to why you’re still finding them inferior.
What’s the need to go discussing how “useless” your partner is if at the end of the day you’re still going back o them? Decide on who you want to settle down with.
Women who are well taken care of (financially and in the relationship) will not dare bring down their spouses but wait until the guy, for some reason shows signs of financial instability when hell breaks loose. I salute women who have stood by their men in such times.
True that love does not put food on the table but neither does “madharau” because if you believe in this guy’s potential you will have no reason give up but will stand by him, in all ways, until he regains his balance. Show me a man who took off the minute his wife was fired and I’ll give you the reasons.
He was either a ‘kept’ man with no focus and direction in life or theirs was purely based on finances. Successful women are not the only ones to blame all the same. There are those very financially stable women, taking good care of their families but for some reason, their spouses feel inferior and react by hating the woman’s ambition and blaming her for every little misfortune in their lives.
The moral of this story is that if you (male or female) continually gets “madharau’ from your partner following your success or lack of it ,there is need to step back and re-evaluate your life, see what part of your personality might be driving people away.
Ladies, let’s stop playing the emasculation card, because that’s not it. And in the rare case where a man is truly intimidated by your success and he runs away you should be thankful that he eliminated himself, as a person of that nature will add nothing but stress in your life.
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